Wednesday, June 13, 2012
6:23 PMII. Did I ever tell you guys about my collection of floppy hats? No? Probably not? You can't remember? Well then let me refresh your memories: I have two floppy hats and while they're aesthetically amazing, they're mostly just a giant letdown. One's black and the other's sort of straw and though the strawish one is bigger and floppier, it also sits on my head for 2.5 seconds before drooping into my face as if I'd invited it for tea when I'm trying to do stuff like see, so points off for being so annoying I take it off 10 minutes after putting it on. The black one behaves way better on the flopping business, as it doesn't really ~flop at all, but stays nice and chic atop my head, making me look like Yoko Ono and a mysterious lady spy all at the same time, which would give it extra points if the image lasted longer than it took a GENTLE GUST OF WIND TO KNOCK IT OFF MY HEAD. Because the black one is super duper light and flimsy and also, I'm just noting, sort of strawish, but since the intruding floppy one is too then this straw must have come from an anorexic strawbed for all the consistency it gives off.
III. LONGEST PARAGRAPH EVER TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THE DISAPPOINTING NATURE OF FLOPPY HATS IN PRACTICE, LOL. Whatever. I know you're all feeling terribly sorry for me to own these two lovely hats and never be able to wear them because they fail at doing the cardinal thing a hat should do: sit properly on my fucking head and don't get in the way of my ability to see or FLY AWAY. The hat, that is. Not me. If I could fly, no way would I waste time on floppy hats.
IV. Capes, on the other hand, well.
V. OMG CHEY WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING ABOUT SUCH INANE THINGS LIKE HATS AND CAPES WHEN THERE ARE BIRTHDAYS TO BE CELEBRATED. I hear what you're saying and acknowledge it as sensible and true because would you look at that, there ARE birthdays to be celebrated, one of which is mine, but as that's not until the 7th of August(just in case you didn't know lol shamelessssssssssss) let's focus instead on the one TODAY. Belonging to the ridiculously fabulous Jess.
VI. JESS. YOU WERE BORN TODAY. AT 7:34 OR 11:45 OR 6:23 OR POSSIBLY SOME OTHER HOUR:MINUTE COMBINATION I HAVEN'T MENTIONED YET AS I'M ASHAMED TO ADMIT I WASN'T THERE FOR THE BIRTH AND SO AM NOT PRIVY TO THIS INFORMATION. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU FREAK.
I don't have anything special to offer you on this day of your birth except for like, my eternal love and admiration and junk, but I can wrap it in pretty wrapping paper to make it feel like a real present, if you want.
Guess what?
& I'M ADORABLE.
ALSO, I SMELL LIKE PINEAPPLE.
THAT IS ALL.
WOW
• MUFFIN • ALEXSTRASZA
• US
Cap of the week
Random Thoughts
I realized though that like a good half of my friends from here have DISAPPEARED, PRACTICALLY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN since last summer, which makes me indescribably sad. WHERE YOU AT, LADIES. AND DICK. Wherever it is, I can double, possibly triple it, in love and ego stroking. That's just how I do.
Post Navigation
